1. Have arguments not affairs
The main reason women shut down sexually is because they don’t feel their emotional needs are being met. To improve your relationship have a good argument, they can actually be very healthy as it’s a chance to communicate the things you don’t normally mention. In the heat of things, try not to criticize your partner though, instead confront the main issues and try to resolve them.
2. Get in the groove
Your desire is affected by so many things, if you’re tired or stressed you’re not going to feel like sex. Your arousal cycle is pretty simple – first you feel desire, then you begin to get aroused which is then followed by orgasm. But all is not lost if you’re not even at stage one, you and your partner can restart things. Breathe deeply and slowly together so your bodies are in tune, then move onto kissing – this will pass testosterone on from him to you through the salvia which gives you a big man-sized dose of desire to help get you in the mood.
3. Make space for sex
Just because your circumstances have changed – if you got married or had kids it doesn’t mean your sex life should stop. You’ll have to work at ensuring you still desire each other – but you can still have excitement in a long-term relationship, go out on a date to a new restaurant, buy new underwear, get rid of the clutter in your bedroom and turn it into a boudoir.
4. Show and tell
Show you man what you like – most of the time, we give how we like to receive, don’t expect your man to be a mind reader. If you’re getting bored with your favourite position try varying it – sex is all about trial and error, change the place you have sex or look inside your fridge for ideas, try touching each other in a totally different way to how you did before. Through experimenting you can recapture those initial intense feelings.
5. Remember the rules
Sex is about feeling good in yourself, it should be playful. Use sex toys, make a fantasy box, keep updating your sex sessions. It’s important to keep things exciting in the bedroom as well as out of it. Talk about what you want, what works for you and if you put the effort in you’ll be bonking like you did when you first hooked up.
Posted by Simone
1. Speak up
If you’re bored in bed, be honest, but make sure you phrase things positively. Try “l love the way we have sex. You really turn me on and I was reading about (insert something you’d like to try), fancy it?” Alternatively try cooking the same meal every night for a few days, then ask your man if he’s bored. Hopefully you’ll both agree it is and you can suggest spicing things up. Then you can tell him you’d like to try doing the same in the bedroom.
2. Rubbish the routine
Statistically speaking, couples are most comfortable with three positions, but it’s still important to have a large sexual repertoire. You can inject excitement simply by changing the time you have sex. Recreate and re-stimulate each other… Take a shower together, have a dirty weekend together at your house – get creative with the scenario if not the position. Take the lead – what guy would say no to his girlfriend being playful?
3. Think outside your box
One of the biggest sex myths is that sex will take care of itself. But after the first year, you have to put as much effort into your sex life as you do choosing the right dress. Your biggest sex organ is your brain, not what’s between your legs! Don’t be afraid of trying something new. Get a fantasy box where you and your man put in five suggestions from doing a strip tease to a new position. When it comes to picking one, if either of you say no to something then don’t take it personally, try another and go for it!
4. Claw back your confidence
If you’ve lost confidence outside of the bedroom then that will translate to your time between the sheets. Don’t put yourself in any type of sexual situation where you may set yourself up to fail. If you don’t feel like sex then don’t have it. Learn to read your own psycho-sexual messages, gain some confidence by getting to know your own body on your own and learn how to bring yourself to climax and practice, practice, practice! When you know your own body you’ll feel more confident because you’re in control
5. Take risks for the romance
Before you delve in and start divulging your fantasies with each other, make sure neither you or your partner are going to be judgmental. Rank your steamy suggestions on a scale of one to ten – start with one, the most tame and make ten the wildest fantasy you have. Don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to, but keep an open mind. Just because a particular act doesn’t feel right today – you may be up for giving it a go in a few weeks.
Posted by Simone
It’s the start of the week, which often makes me reflective and mindful. So I wanted to share some thoughts that you might be useful to help ensure you have a good week – or a better week – depending what life throws at you.
First is – We all feel inadequate sometimes
Second is – Don’t be afraid make mistakes. Mistakes are part of life
Third is – When you confront adversity and embrace it – that’s how you sharpen your tools in life…
Fourth is don’t be afraid to dream… Dream because it’s your dreams that help drive you and inspire you – especially through tougher days
Fifth is you may not be lucky enough to have been given the perfect role model and if that’s the case – that’s ok – go and find one – they can be someone who know, or someone you don’t know but admire; they actually don’t even have to be a person – you can create a role model –from your beliefs but a role model is good for all of us ..because having a role model will help you through the adventures and challenges in life.
And finally, kiss a dog!
Posted by Simone
Of course the man of our dreams is far more than average in our eyes. But if you’re a man, in the bedroom are you desperate to please your ? Do you feel like just an average lover because you feel you’re not delivering xxx orgasms?
In my experience of working with men, the feeling of being average in bed is becoming more usual.
Many men have told me that because they see in women’s magazines that women should be having multiple orgasms, they as men, start to feel like they’re not delivering what’s expected of them. And this of course puts them under pressure to perform
Here’s what I know: Today’s modern day man is a lot more giving between the sheets than ever before.
This kind of enthusiasm to please a woman makes a man a great lover in women’s eyes.
So gents, carry on being giving in bed…aim to please; but lose the obsession to deliver. And ladies, help your man to feel like the lover of the year by telling him how good he makes you feel.
And it goes without saying, don’t either of you forget about your own needs along the way. The trick to good sex is striking the balance between giving pleasure and receiving it.
Posted by Simone
Do you get carried away sometimes when you see celebrities – with their wealth and lifestyle and think, I wish I had what they had?
Well, let me flip that on its head.
No matter how much money someone has, it doesn’t stop them longing and enjoying the simple pleasures in life and love.
One of the most intimate Honeymoon pictures of Mark Zuckerberg and his now billion dollar wife wasn’t the $1000 suite they stayed in, or flying private jet between Rome and Tuscany…it was the two of them sitting on some steps in the sunshine, sharing a plate of ravioli, in T shirt and jeans. Just like something you yourself would do.
Research has shown that once you earn over a certain amount of money – (and it’s way under 6 figures by the way) and the basics in life are taken care of – like your rent or mortgage and food and bills – your happiness levels don’t actually increase.
So take that as a little reminder – Don’t let the fantasy of – if only I had more money- hold you back from enjoying a romantic moment together.
Live in the now – enjoy each other today and appreciate the simple things in life!
Posted by Simone